Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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