I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
