There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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