what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The air was thick with penises
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
