Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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