You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
