you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
