he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
