thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm getting married
To pizza
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
