I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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