Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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