I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
