Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
