I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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