is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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