I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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