so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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