i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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