We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
