you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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