You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
