He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
