I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
