We're facebook friends in real life
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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