it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
