Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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