Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
