i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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