I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I won't apologize to a one balled man
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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