We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
