What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
