i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
