some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
