is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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