I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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