Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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