I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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