I smell stomach acid.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
