Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
