the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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