he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
