the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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