fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
