I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
