You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
