so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
