I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
