Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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