So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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