When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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